If you’re like most people, Valentine’s Day kind of sneaks up on you.  It’s here before you know it and you’re stuck trying to buy something nice for your sweetheart at the corner Drug Store on the way home.

Not cool.

Whether you’re shopping for a guy or a gal, here are a couple of tips to make this Valentine’s Day special:

1.  Plan ahead. Nothing says “I really care about you” than something that takes advance planning – even if it’s just getting reservations at a favorite restaurant.  At the other extreme, nothing says “I just don’t think about you that much” as a box of chocolates with the price sticker still on the box.

2.  Make it personal. Yes, I know that Hallmark has a card for every occasion, and yes, some of them actually say what I want to say way better than I could say it myself.  But that’s not the point – and it’s not what your special someone wants to hear.  They want to hear it from you – in your own words, in your own way.  It’s not the “vehicle” that matters, it’s the message.  Make yours personal.  So this year, forget the store-bought cards and come up with something on your own.  It might be a song, a poem, or just a few sentences, just tell them how much they mean to you.

3.  If you’re going to be there, BE THERE. Don’t think that buying a gift and just leaving it on the kitchen counter gets you off the hook to go watch Sports Center or head to the gym.  Make the day special by giving of yourself.  Turn off the TV, set aside the magazine, get off the computer.  Don’t just be there physically, be there mentally, totally focused on the love of your life.

4.  Say “I Love You” Like you Mean It. No, I don’t mean the “You know I luv ‘ya” and the quick peck on the cheek as you run to catch the Nightly News.  Take the time to look deeply into each others eyes and say “I Love You” the way you did it when you first got together.

5.  Let The Mood Take You. Be open to going wherever the mood takes you.  That could mean making wild passionate love in the middle of the Living Room or just sitting together holding hands and watching an old movie.

6.  Recommit. One question that brings up some interesting discussion when someone says, “I love you,” is “How come?”  You might hear things like “because you let me be me” or “because you accept me the way I am” or something similar.  This does two things.  First, you hear what you’re doing right  (obviously you need to keep doing them!).  Secondly, by verbalizing their thoughts, the other person tends to reinforce and strengthen those feelings.  Now to be fair, you’ve got to be prepared to answer the same question for your partner.  Doing this is a great way to reconfirm your love for each other, recommit to the relationship, and re-ignite the passion as you remember exactly what attracted you to this person in the first place.

Have a great Valentine’s Day, this year and every year after that!

Hiram

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